


not that that should be a cause for concern

by bribees



Series: full disclosure: I am a monster [1]
Category: Smile For Me (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Acceptance, Self-Hatred, followed by, guess whos a demon but is still nice and loves their friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:27:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22488658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bribees/pseuds/bribees
Summary: Everything is coming up roses. Each Habitician left the Habitat happy that one fateful night, and the following morning a flower was returned and a journey to peace was started.Everyone... well, almost everyone is happy. Flower Kid, unbeknownst to everyone else, is harboring a secret that they fear would drive all their new friends away if it was revealed. Fortunately, this is far from the truth.
Relationships: Kamal Bora/Dr. Boris Habit (background)
Series: full disclosure: I am a monster [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664371
Comments: 5
Kudos: 66





	1. how it started

Looking around the courtyard, it was hard to imagine that so much had managed to change in such a short amount of time. And for the better, even.

In a structural sense, the Habitat hadn’t changed much. A few new handrails and bars had been installed, and the place was (thankfully) down one Martha, sure— but the shape was still the same. The oddly shaped doorways and lopsided architecture was just as Flower Kid had remembered it.

But one thing was indescribably different. The _flowers._

The ground that Trencil had once said was too dry to nurture any plant life had been vigorously tilled and rejuvenated until it was practically shimmering with its own blue sparks. The grass (even out in the Carnival) was lush and green, perfect for laying back on and cloudwatching. And the most beautiful things were springing up from that same ground, in almost every nook and cranny as was possible without being cumbersome. (Well, in some places it _was_ a little cumbersome, but Flower Kid couldn’t blame his enthusiasm...) _Flowers!_ So many, many flowers— ones that crawled up the walls and filled the small cracks with cute little buds, ones that glowed with bright blues and reds and oranges, ones that were nestled together close to the ground in big bushels. Everywhere you looked, there were flowers. And the air felt so _clean._ The “fresh mountain air” Habit had talked about so many months ago was apparently a reality now.

Flower Kid didn’t want to say that it was all because of them, despite how often Habit still wanted to thank them for steering him in the right direction. They were just doing what they thought was right at the time. Heroics wasn’t really part of their whole deal, but Habit still called them Flower Hero sometimes. It made them a little sad for some reason, but telling him to stop seemed rude. Oh well. They could only hope that as Boris made more steps towards recovery on his own, the need to praise them would gradually fade away. Either that, or maybe someday the feeling that they were being given gratitude they didn’t earn would go away...

Flower Kid tugged on one of their hoodie strings. There was one big thing getting in the way of that— A secret of theirs that they knew couldn’t get out. If it did, then they would... they’d have to...

They loved all their new friends so much. But if anyone found out the truth, they knew they’d only get hurt. Nobody needed to see what was just underneath the surface. Only grief would come of it, they were sure. Not that they could exactly blame anyone for having a negative reaction to their... whole deal. It would only be expected.

But for now, everything was fine. They could keep up the charade as long as they lived if it things stayed like this. Everyone was happy, _Habit_ was happy. The flowers taking over the once barren ground were proof of that. And as long as everyone else was happy, Flower Kid was too— happier than they had been in a long time, to be completely honest. Lately they’d even started speaking up some, where in the past they were almost completely silent. They felt like their words actually held some meaning now, even if they were few and far in between.

Later today, all the ex-Habiticians would show up one by one (or two by two, considering all the romantic endeavors some of them had gotten into between leaving and now) for a little get-together, and to see all the new additions to the place that Habit had described in vivid detail in his emails. Without his compulsion to condescend, the man actually managed to be very persuasive through sheer enthusiasm alone. 

Flower Kid had decided to come just a little bit early, wanting to take in the place while it was still somewhat quiet. The bees buzzing and distant birdsong rang clearly through the Carnival and courtyard. To say it was beautiful was an understatement, in their opinion.

“Flower-Child!!!”

Hearing their nickname from a familiar deep voice, Flower Kid grinned as they turned around to see Boris walking out from the once-chained hallway, floofy hair pulled back with a scrunchy and wearing a woven sun hat decorated with daisies. The brightly colored floral button-up he was wearing was a far cry from his big heavy-looking coat, but Flower Kid couldn’t say that the outfit didn’t fit the man to a T. But the best part of his look, in their opinion, was the gap in his smile plain as day when he grinned right back at them.

Flower Kid took off running at him, jumping up and laughing when he scooped them up in his arms. They weren’t used to being so easily picked up, but a nearly 2-and-a-half foot height difference will do that.

While Boris launched into an explanation of all the flower seeds he’d ordered for next season, Flower Kid relaxed in his arms and smiled. Everything had worked out perfectly.

Unfortunately, things very rarely tend to stay that way. And later that day, all it would take is one small mistake to send everything unraveling away.


	2. how it ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things get worse, and then they get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the ~'s mark a pov change even if it's kinda cheesy because I wrote this on a whim and I make all of the rules

This was bad. This was really bad. This was essentially The Nightmare Scenario.

What were they going to do? What were they going to _do_? If it wasn't bad enough that everyone saw, that everyone knew what they were now, the first thought that came to their stupid little head was to scramble up to Habit's office as if that would do anything but leave them cornered. Instead of just booking it into the mountains like any other sane person would, they cornered themselves in one of the only places in the Habitat that didn’t have more than one exit. Unless there was a way to open the windows... but as far as they knew, there wasn’t, besides the balcony. But it was locked, had been for a while now, and they didn’t want to leave Habit with a broken glass door on top of everything else. And even if they did, then... then everyone else would see them climbing out, and they don’t think they could bear more terrified stares—

From the supply closet they’d crammed themselves into, they heard the elevator ding out in the waiting room-turned-parlor. Oh god, was someone already coming up? They thought they’d at least have a little more time to think...

The click of heels on tile gave them a pretty good guess at who’d come up, and the call of “Flower-child???” that followed confirmed that it was Habit. Oh god. They soon heard Kamal give a similar shout. Oh god oh no. Fuck! There were only so many rooms up here, they would find them in minutes! Why were they looking for them still? Why would they be doing anything besides running, or stocking up on... on... whatever someone could use against something like them? Holy water?? Salt???

Regardless. The nickname coming from their (soon to be former, surely) friends made them want to sob.

Everything was perfect only twenty minutes ago... Everyone was happy, everyone was safe, and then Trevor (the gangly sweetheart who was correct more often than he realized) had these odd sigil stickers and was just so excited to show everyone... Lately he’d been more interested in “demonology” as he called it, rather than vampires. Apparently going to Nat’s house and seeing just how much of Trencil’s day was taken up by pruning and digging and watering made the whole “vampire expert” venture seem less exciting, so. Demons it was.

“They can detect a demonic presence in seconds!” He’d shouted, and Flower Kid was _so_ sure it was some weird bogus thing the boy had gotten online. The stickers looked cheap— they didn’t even have a finish. Like ones you’d find in the “$1” basket next to the cash register at a bookstore. So when Trevor started asking for volunteers to try them out, they couldn’t help but offer their hand; Nat obviously declined, Millie threatened to whack him with her golf club, and Gillis just crossed his arms and waited for Trevor to take the hint. They’d felt bad and let him slap the sticker across their palm.

At first they had laughed at how vigorously Trevor had smacked it down, as if he was afraid it wouldn’t stick—

Then it started to burn.

They couldn’t pry it off. Trevor’s smile fell almost immediately, and suddenly their skin felt too small for their body; there were wisps of dark smoke pluming up out of their mouth, and their head was splitting in three different places— a panicked _no no no please this isn’t happening_ rang through their head, but they couldn’t make a sound through their coughing.

They could only hazard a guess that Trevor must have screamed, and Nat must have yelled for Trencil right after. By the time their eyes (all three of them) had refocused, they could see Millie protectively standing with her golf club held like a sword in front of a confused Putunia, who had come running in from the Carnival to defend the terrified citizens. Gillis looked terrified and ready to bolt, and all of a sudden there were so many scared faces surrounding them, a shocked Jerafina coming out of the Lounge door and Lulia’s hand on her shoulder, Dallas backing away with his hands held in front of him, a tall, curious shadow in their peripheral that could only be Habit... _seeing_... The smoke was still pouring out of their mouth- mouths, all three of them, and, and...

Before they knew what they were doing, their lengthening hair had started to spill out onto the ground into black whips before striking the ground in front of them, sending loose soil and water from Marv’s “pond” up in a disorienting smokescreen. (One more thing to ruin before they leave, they supposed.) By the time they had calmed down enough to think, the spindly prehensile “legs” made up from their hair had already carried them up the elevator shaft and left them to find a hiding spot. Now they were squeezed between crumpled boxes and cleaning supplies in the back of a closet. It would almost be enough to make them crack a dumb joke to themselves, if they weren’t so terrified. The doorknob jiggling mere feet away broke them out of the reverie of their latest regrets, and there was nothing left to do.

Except maybe... try to scare everyone even more. They could never hurt Habit, never, not even with blood dripping from their lips and aching new gaps in their teeth, but maybe they could make him _think_ they could. Just posturing, just puffing themselves up like a prey animal so they’d look and sound ferocious— that would be enough to make the pair outside the door back up in fear and let them escape. It wasn’t like the two of them weren’t already probably scared, disgusted, _revolted_ by what their friend actually was. How they’d been lied to all this time. The damage was done. There was no taking back all of those terrified faces. And once this was all over, they would go back to town, alone, and know without a doubt that they were a monster.

The door was opening. They rose up, their hair hooking into the metal storage racks and lifting them off the floor, body poised as if ready to strike, face contorted in what they hoped was convincing-enough anger. The closet flooded with light, and it hurt their eyes a bit, but there was Boris with- with- concern on his face? Why???

It hurt more than the fear they’d expected, somehow. It hurt to think about how that concern would surely fade away in a moment, and that would be the last time they would ever see it directed their way from him. It was too _much_ — they had to get away. Digging deep, they let out a distorted, screeching scream that rang from each one of their mouths.

~

Habit stumbled back a bit in surprise, both at the sudden loud noise and his suddenly very-different-looking friend, almost making Kamal fall over behind him. When everything happened down in the courtyard, he’d only been able to get a brief look at Flower Child before they rose up like a funny spider with their _hair_ and swiped at the ground to make a big plume of dust. They were nowhere to be seen after that. But he had a feeling they would either be in their room, or up here. Maybe the closet wasn’t his first guess, but he did suppose they seemed kind of disoriented, so who knows what was going through their head to make them come in here. So they were probably just scared. ...And also scary. But not terribly scary! The new dark eyes and sharp mouths, small shiny antlers, funny fuzzy nose, floppy ears, and black claws were certainly strange, but that didn’t change the fact that he knew who he was looking at.

~

There we go. He... had to be scared now. And as soon as Habit cleared the doorway, they could shoot past and leave. Forever. _Oh, god. This sucks_. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, they could see Kamal’s big worried eyes just behind Habit. Filled with an anxiety that they’d caused. They screamed again, advancing forward the slightest bit, all three eyes wide and arms raised to show off their claws.

~

This was a certainly strange development. What exactly was the little Flower doing? Trying to _act_ scary? Why? Habit certainly didn’t appreciate the screaming, but Flower Child had to have a _reason_. It was almost laughable to think of Flower Kid as some vicious beast; this was a much too jarring change of character to feel real. (Plus, them raising their hands up like a movie monster was kind of silly, especially with their still-tiny hands.) Something was definitely up, and he had a feeling that that something was probably going to be something sad.

He felt Kamal grip the back of his coat, and he shared a worried and quizzical glance with his partner for a moment before looking back towards the matter at hand. Flower Kid’s fierce expression faltered for just a moment, looking just as confused and worried as the pair they were staring at. That was all Habit needed to see. He took a step towards them, hands on his hips in a look he hoped didn’t look _too_ admonishing. “Yuo are act-ting like a scared babey cat. There’s’ no need 4 it!” With his approach, the Flower Child suddenly lurched back up against the wall, putting as much space between the two of them as they could and looking frazzled. So they _were_ scared! All over a few new funny little features... Well, maybe not _little_ , but still.

~

 _What was he doing?!_ They were dangerous! They were sharp and disgusting and not _human_ , and he was- he was _scolding_ them like a kid??? What was going on?!

~

The ferocious look was completely gone now. Now all that was left was a small Flower looking, indeed, like a scared babey cat. Much later in hindsight, Boris would realize the parallels going on at that moment; calming down a friend who was trying to seem as big and scary as they could so everyone would think they were Bad. Unfortunately Boris didn’t have anything that would have worked as well as his Lily did for him, and a kiss seemed out of place, so he opted for walking farther in the cramped supply closet and wrapping his arms around Flower Child before they could run away again. They let out a surprised squeak and squirmed in place, making distressed sounds and trying half-heartedly to seem vicious again.

~

This doesn’t make sense. _This doesn’t make sense!_ They tried to push away, tried to make it seem like they were swiping at Habit without actually landing their claws on anything, tried to make their hair stick up in points and gently nudge him away at the same time, tried growling or snapping their teeth at him from a harmless distance, tried... 

But they couldn’t. Habit was slowly squeezing them close, his curly hair cushioning them all around their head. Gently running his hand down their back, comforting. Comforting. Why? Why was he... there wasn’t... why...

~

It took a moment for Habit to realize that Flower Child was crying. It started off very quietly. Then, he heard it— the same odd, three-part-harmony sound to their voice accompanied even their sobs, which... was a tiny bit off putting, but Boris was glad they weren’t pretending at being ferocious anymore. He sighed in relief and turned to leave the supply closet, with Flower Kid’s strange hair untwisting itself from the shelves and falling limply against their back. Kamal still looked confused, but having witnessed the scene himself (and been impressed by his boyfriend’s new de-escalation skills), he knew there wasn’t much to fear now. Boris made his way over to the burgundy couch in his office (a recent addition following the new murals), and sat down with Flower Kid still in his arms. They hadn’t stopped sobbing, and their hands seemed confused about whether they wanted to hold onto him tighter or soften their grip. They probably weren’t used to minding their claws. But Boris could help them learn.

It was, admittedly, a bit upsetting to see the little Flower overtaken by such a negative emotion. Throughout most of their time at the Habitat they rarely expressed anything but peaceful joy and, at worst, frustration at their lack of understanding towards the other Habitician’s problems. (Well. And being kind of upset about being complicit in Ronbo getting beaned with a golf ball.) But this? It was something entirely different. Now they were the one in dire need of comfort.

Boris took to slowly rocking forward and back like he’d seen Flower Child do before when they seemed overexcited. Kamal hesitantly reached over to pat the kid’s head as well; he wasn’t as adept at physical comfort as Boris, but hopefully it helped. He was also proud that he only flinched a _little_ bit when one of Flower Kid’s new long ears twitched in response.

~

They felt a new hand on their head... After a moment they realized it was Kamal, and their cries hitched up in a shudder. Him too? But they’d _seen_ his eyes, how nervous he looked, what else would he have been anxious about other than the literal demon his partner was a foot away from?

But. Well. It was also Kamal they were talking about here.

And... It was entirely possible that the person he was worried for was, in fact, the literal demon. Which made very little sense at all. This was so confusing...

They finally worked up enough air and semblance of calm to get a coherent, but shaky, word out: “Why?”

~

“Hmmmnmm?” Boris asked, not pausing in his rocking or petting. “Why” was definitely a loaded question, and Flower Child could be asking about a number of things... He really hoped they weren’t asking why he was hugging them and not rounding up a mob with torches and pitchforks and the like.

“...Wh... Why’re,” the little Flower hiccuped, “why’re y-you not... ss-scared of mme?”

Ah.

There was the sound of his heart breaking. Boris redoubled his pats and cuddled closer to them.

“You r still the same “Flower”, are yuo not? Just a few more... ah... bits. Added on. And I knoe you wouldn’t hurt me, would’ you?”

Flower Child nestled their face back into the crook of Boris’ shoulder and shook their head, letting out a small “noo...” that was muffled by his coat.

“And me neither. Uh, that you wouldn’t hurt me or nothin’, I mean?” Kamal piped up. Flower Child shyly peeked one dark eye out at him for a moment before looking away and shaking their head again in confirmation.

“And you’m would never hurt any-of the other Habiticians, would you?” Boris asked further, taking a moment to take a closer look at the new features he could see. The antlers were certainly pointy, but cute in their smallness. The twitchy-floppy ears reminded him of a deer, which oddly suited them, somehow. The more he looked at their new traits, the less strange and more endearing they became.

Flower Child shook their head one more time, the muffled “no” coming out softer and more hesitant this time. It was clear they knew that what Boris was saying made sense, but there were still too many tiny anxieties— clinging to them like hitchhiker seeds— to convince them everything was ok. “But... but I still look...” they whimpered, withdrawing a little from Boris’ chest. “‘M a monster,” they said as quietly as they could, their eyes cast down towards their own clawed hands.

“Wait, kid, no, that’s not-” Kamal started, but seemed to interrupt himself to think. “I mean, yeah you’ve got horns and fangs and junk, but that doesn’t mean...” He trailed off as Flower Child looked at him fully, revealing the two small mouths at each side of their face. “Whoa, uh, a whole lotta fangs, huh,” Kamal muttered. Flower Child’s expression wilted even more. “Ah-! Shit, I didn’t mean that in a bad way! I just- Look. Kid, you’re literally one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. You lookin’... different doesn’t change that,” Kamal reassured them. “Everyone downstairs is worried about you, too— I mean, uh, I won’t repeat some of the stuff that Millie said cause she can be kinda rude, but— yeah. So don’t worry? Please?”

~

In a weird way... Kamal’s faux pas actually made them feel a little bit better? Somehow? He always tended to be blunt, and sometimes it came out in a way that made him seem rude, but it was rarely his intention. But he always said what he was feeling. So maybe, if he really _was_ just surprised at the new sharp parts, and everyone else was too... Then maybe. Things weren’t so bad. Maybe.

Boris got their attention again with one of his big hands gently cradling the side of their face. He seemed more apprehensive now. Had they done something wrong?

~

Boris smiled down at Flower Child, hoping he didn’t look as nervous as he felt. Not because of them, of course! But because he was about to do something he wasn’t sure wouldn’t end up hurting him in the end. He hoped it would make them feel better, instead of just scared. But that was the trouble with showing the Scary part of himself. Though, isn’t that what the little Flower was upset about in the first place? Being afraid of scaring the others? So he _had_ to do this, for them.

“Kamal is rite. And... Eye want to showe you some-thing,” Boris said, moving his hand down to intertwine with Flower Child’s and give a reassuring little squeeze. When their three-eyed gaze flickered down to their hands, he let it happen.

Starting from the pointed tips of his fingers, Boris’ big clawed hands slowly darkened to a pitch black. The shade seemed to ripple up his arms, enveloping everything in a fuzzy darkness. Beside him, Kamal started— out of surprise, yes, but only surprise at Boris so willingly showing this side of himself. Even now, with everything that had happened between them, Boris still had to be reassured ever so often that Kamal wasn’t scared of him. (Especially after that one incident involving Boris getting a midnight snack and Kamal having the living daylights scared out of him.) The first time he got to see Boris like this, the Russian man had been too sleepy from a day’s work of painting to realize his form was slipping. Calming him down after he’d realized his misstep took quite a substantial amount of time. And yet, here he was, willingly becoming his odd shadowy self in front of someone new without prompting.

At the very least, Flower Child seemed to be taking it fairly well. “Awestruck” was certainly a more positive expression than Kamal might have expected.

~

They couldn’t believe their eyes. They always knew something was kind of... _off_ about Boris, at least in terms of physical normalcy. Like how almost every photo they took of him came out looking pitch black, or how easy it was to lose him in a dark room, despite his height. Sometimes they would see tiny pinpricks of red in place of where his eyes should’ve been, but they always found a reason to brush it off as a trick of the light. (And to stop themselves from hoping it wasn’t, and that maybe they weren’t as alone as they thought in all of this.) But now, there was no denying what was right in front of them: within seconds, where Boris had been sitting was now a Boris-shaped shadow with a colorful :-) for a face.

Actually, a <:-) might be a more apt description. Oh jeez, they hoped he wasn’t nervous about showing them this, it wasn’t like they would be-

...Scared. Of him. ...Just like Boris wasn’t scared of them. Ah.

This was silly. They gave a reassuring squeeze to Boris’ hand, and ended up giggling at how weirdly fuzzy it was now. Like warm tv static.

~

Boris smiled and relaxed once Flower Child started to giggle. His plan worked! At least, it looked like it was working. But regardless... This was nice. It had been so long since someone besides Kamal had seen this side of him, and even longer still since someone had reacted this well to seeing it for the first time. His chest felt like it was filled with a warm glow.

“Ssseeeee? It ‘is’ all-righte. You’re’e sayfe,” Boris crooned. His voice always tended to sound more wobbly when he was this way, as if he were swaying on a ship that was also underwater. (Perhaps a submarine might be a better comparison.) Kamal told him once that he sounded more like an echo in a big room than someone talking, but also insisted it wasn’t _bad_ sounding. It was hard for him to tell the difference, to be completely honest. But there were more pressing matters at hand. “We r bowth ohh-kay! :-) “Yuo” are stil “Flower” an d “eye” amn still “Boris”!”

All three of Flower Child’s mouths crooked upwards in watery smiles. A moment after, and Boris found himself with both of their arms wrapped tightly around his chest. The little Flower was still sniffling, but now he could tell they were good tears. Happy ones. Only a little while ago he would have found it hard to think such a thing really existed, but he knew better now. Without hesitation, he looped his arms around his friend in return, content to know he’d helped.

Kamal scooted closer as well, and joined in on the hug with a sigh of relief. (His initiation was a little more awkward, but that was just Kamal, and Boris and Flower Child wouldn’t have it any other way.) As tiny blue sparks danced around the three, the tension in the air finally faded. Things would be different now, undoubtedly. But Flower Kid had a feeling that this, like many things lately, would be a change for the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u made it to the end: thank u so much for reading my fic!!! this is the first time in a long time that I've written this much just for fun. I honestly owe Gabe and Yugo a great big thanks for making me so inspired the past few months.
> 
> but yea: my FK is a demon who was actually human before a very bad situation happened. that's the main reason they came to the Habitat: they wanted to feel like they were more than just this thing they'd become. being able to help all these new people helped them feel better about everything, but it was mostly in /spite/ of what they were, rather than making them feel at peace with who they are. but then here comes boris with his shadowy self!!! get on outta here insecurity
> 
> I might link a picture I drew of my FK on here later. it's actually kinda late so maybe... later
> 
> EDIT: [here we go!](https://66.media.tumblr.com/b465f5d658cec0b745e7b028d8ae5c53/3669a9200c6e06dd-cf/s2048x3072/ca549aaa7d42ea03c147ca0e95dca978cc057914.png)
> 
> thank u again!

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!! thank u for reading my fic. it's a little self-indulgent, but sometimes to cope you just have to churn out a fic where a character who thinks they're a monster is comforted and loved by their friends.
> 
> side note: I'd hope this didn't need saying, but Flower Kid and Boris are just super close friends now!! FK is a nonbinary lesbian and Kamal and Boris r dating. thank u.


End file.
